firing my inner taskmaster

Today is the 16th day of my 30-day challenge, and I’ve decided to fire my boss (me) and give the artist a raise (also me).

The artist

So far, I’ve published more than 7,300 words and have dedicated at least 42 hours to my creativity. I’ve been looking through my old artworks for visual images to accompany the posts. When I pair them with my current thoughts, they're given a new life and purpose. I feel pleased by all of these things.

I took the 15th day to move from Substack to Ghost (free trial version). I wrote about this decision here. There’s still more to set up in this new container, but this was the platform I originally wanted to try, so I’m glad to come full circle.

Taking a rest from publishing posts gave me a beat to reflect on what I want to do differently. This is how I decided to fire my boss.

The boss

Though I’m happy with what I’ve produced, I’m not very proud of how I’ve treated myself. I was tapping into this “do it before you die!” taskmaster energy, whip in hand. This taskmaster listens to productivity hacks on tape, with titles like “don’t break the chain” and “done is better than perfect.” 

The taskmaster kept thinking of ways to turn up the heat and increase pressure. Tell everyone you want to write faster, and then publish how much time you’re actually spending on each post for accountability. You say you want to be seen? Then why aren’t you inviting people to subscribe?? Let’s just set a daily morning reminder in your calendar that says “promote newsletter” so you don’t forget.

When I scheduled a long weekend trip, the taskmaster made sure to move those three writing blocks to the days before, reminding me that I’d have to pay for this vacation by doubling up for a few days to “stay on track.”

The taskmaster is everything you can imagine about the old world order–patriarchy, capitalism, white supremacy, ableism–the systems that teach us our worth is in constant production, perfection, and speed. The body is just another resource to drain. The old rules. 

New terms

We here at the new newsletter are writing some new rules under a new boss. First, ask: What would it look like if we were kind to the artist? What would it look like if this process had more ease, more balance? Something like:

• the artist gets credit for every day published! Not punished for days missed
• breaks are integral to the creative practice
• the goal is 20 published posts in 30 days, not 30 in 30
• data stays (time spent to post and words published) because it helps celebrate wins, but we don't need any judgment
• promotion can unfold at a pace and in ways that feel natural, not forced

Let’s try kindness on for size.

Time spent: 2 hours/ word count: 509