a coping mechanism
creative overwhelm
a coping mechanism
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I have a Google Doc titled “my sabbatical,” which I started to document my hopes and dreams for an upcoming planned break. I started it in May 2022, and it is 122 pages long and still going.
I’m hoping for a quick win today. I’m on a time limit and really banking on a gem in this doc that I can pluck and present—ta-da—from my inner world, from my running conversation with myself, onto this screen.
Unedited:
Something i noticed about myself, and i only figured this out pretty recently, is that when i get emotionally overwhelmed i get very sleepy. ‘Coping mechanism’ i suspect.
This is terrible for the creative process, which for me i believe is inherently emotional. So when i start tapping into what i’m feeling, what i’m thinking, and trying to make sense of it and then express and articulate that feeling, i get so tired. I feel my body starting to shut down. I want to curl into a ball with a blanket over me and close my eyes. The deep sleep.
It’s not even that what i’m trying to understand is so intense that i need this type of self-protection. that’s the annoying thing. It’s not like “take the level 8 feeling and bring it down to a 3.” It’s already at a 3.
The point is that it’s 8:37pm right now and my eyes are starting to droop.
Maybe i can try different times of day.
File this under “the challenge with feeling feelings.”
time spent: 1 hr/ word count: 273
